Staying Positive in the Face of Progressive Pain.

In some ways, chronic pain is similar to depression.  Both can knock you out, even on your best days, and you never see it coming.

I still find it a bit hard to believe that I was only 24 years old when a doctor told me that I had early onset osteoarthritis.  You could have knocked me over with a feather.  And it wasn’t brand new – it had been around for a while.  It’s rare for this disease to show up before your thirties (and even then it’s unusual).

I try to be proactive despite my increasing pain levels.  I have looked up all sorts of treatments and alternative therapies.  I’ve changed my diet, tried different exercises, and I have enough medicine and supplements to take up an entire drawer of my nightstand.  I even had a cortisone injection even though I really, really did not want one.

So, after trying to positive and proactive, I took a break from searching for ways to treat my pain and starting asking Google how bad things could get.  Turns out they can get pretty bad.

There are four stages of osteoarthritis ranging from acute to degenerative.  I read about people who eventually become immobile from their osteoarthritis and those that have to take wickedly strong drug cocktails just to be more comfortable.  I mean, in what world would you ever want to be without heavy pain medication when your bones to have non-cushioned contact with each other?

So there I was, huddled up with my phone and thinking about all the years I have left to live with this pain – not knowing how it might manifest in my own joints over the next twenty, thirty, forty years.  Combining pain and lack of knowledge about it can be a scary thing.

But there is another side to this situation.  I don’t have to see all the years I have left to live with this pain, but just all the years.  I have so much life left.  Much of that life may be filled with pain, yes, but much of it will be filled with joy and happiness.  It will be filled with the love of my husband and my family.  It will be knitted together from my travels, adventures, and experiences – the stuff that makes a life.  That’s what I should turn my thoughts toward and focus on: how I can make the most out of those years.

Scripture tells us to number our days, so that we can be guided by wisdom (Psalm 90:12).  If I am going to number my days I would rather number them with all of the good things that life has to offer.  Depression, anxiety, fear, and pain would love to steal the joy from those days.

Osteoarthritis is proving to be a wild beast, cruel and unpredictable.  But it’s one I’m willing to fight.  I’m not giving up on making this disease easier to live with, going to the doctor, or trying new things.  But I am giving up on letting it steal my time.

Featured photo by Artotem licensed under CC BY 2.0.