This blog post is a little different from my usual structured, wordy, hopefully informative articles. It’s more of a freestyle stream of consciousness thought flow. I wrote it after a hard day when I wondered about the invisible things that affected me so greatly which would be easy for others not to even notice.
The subtleties of chronic illness are hard to see even if you are looking. But since they tend to be invisible, or well hidden, you can easily fail to notice the things a chronically ill person is dealing with every day.
I hope these words stir some introspection. If you’re a family member or a friend of someone with a chronic illness I encourage you to try and recognize the things, however small, that can wreak havoc on that person. Maybe you’re already doing a good job; then let this be a reminder.
Did you notice?
Did you notice?
The way
she pushes the chair
underneath the table
with the palms of her hands
because her fingers
ache so greatly.
Did you see?
The tiredness
just underneath
the surface
making it hard for
her to move.
Did you realize?
The mint,
light blue,
pulled from her purse
was not a mint
but a lozenge
for her dryness
that leaves her hoarse
and coughing.
Did you notice?
Her delicate motion
to slowly sit
because slow is
the only option
for her today.
Did you see?
The bottle of sunscreen
in her car
that she despises
but has to use to keep her safe.
Do you know why?
Have you read about them?
The diseases
that she lives with.
Did you take the time
to learn their names?
Did you see the pill bottle?
It’s never far.
For morning, meals, nighttime,
and any pains in between.
Did you notice?
How she stood in the shade
back to the sun
even though she loves its warmth.
Did you see?
How she closed her eyes
to give them respite
from burning;
the pain that comes from
no tears.
The irony of wanting to cry
because you cannot cry
because of your disease.
Did you notice?
That her speech is less,
less articulate
less in measure
less in every way
because there’s dysfunction
in her brain.
Did you tell her?
About the cold
the one that’s just sniffles for you
but could be weeks of illness for her.
Did you ask?
How it manifests,
the thing that goes wrong
inside her body.
How her version looks
compared to
the standard.
Do you know?
That she sits in the quiet
every fortnight
to inject her medicine
alone
before bed.
Did you notice?
Her wince
as she places her hand on the knife
for the small pressure it takes
to cut the chicken.
Did you ask?
Do you know?
About the depth of the pain,
of sorrow,
of longing
for the simple things that others
take for granted.
Did you see?
The sadness
each time she says no
when she wants to say yes
but her body has failed her.
Did you ask?
How she can stand it?
The moments she misses
with all her heart.
Did you notice?
The burden
laid upon her shoulders
when she can’t help
because she needs help
with the simplest duties of life.
Did you feel?
That her faith has been tested
that it begins to drown
when she can’t lift her head.
Did you ask?
What caused her absence
at a time
and a place
she had planned to be.
Did you check?
To see if she was okay.
If her heart could handle it,
if she had the support
and wisdom
of other people
that she needs to get up again
one day after another
all shadowed by pain
no matter how bright.
Did you notice?
Featured photo and above photos – above photos modified by My Meena Life – via Pexels licensed under CCO.
