Lupus? Are you kidding me? I thought it was never lupus. In November of 2015 I began suffering from debilitating pain while living in Germany. This pain, along with other symptoms, has made it very difficult for me to function normally. Going to the doctor in Germany (several doctors, actually) turned out to be less than helpful, and so I’ve looked forward to the start of this year when I’d be back in the United States and my health insurance deductible would reset. So far, […]
Category: Health
The Mental Strain of a Chronic Illness.
Recently I joined a small group called “Deutsche to go” in order to improve my German speaking skills. On the day before my first meeting, I found myself suffering from mental strain in the form of intense dread. I didn’t want to go. Not because I was lazy or too busy, but rather because I’d be trading more for that language session than 60 minutes and a cup of coffee. I went anyway. At the meeting, I suffered the mental strain […]
Five Coping Strategies for Depressive Episodes.
Sometimes my depression disappears like an insolent teenager that is truant from their classes. Other times it’s as inescapable and frustrating as a screaming baby in an airplane. On those days that my depression takes a backseat I feel amazing and I can function with relative ease. Those days make me feel like a normal person. I retain hope that my whole life will be like that eventually, but in the meantime I have to be prepared for when my […]
Me vs. Medication.
I hate taking medication. I always have, even when I was just a child with a cold (that syrup was nasty). Yet, as someone who has (so far) accumulated two chronic illnesses, taking medication isn’t really optional at this point. (Update: now I have three.) I’ve been on so many different medications already: anti-inflammatories, corticosteroids, anti-malarials, anti-depressants, opiates, muscle relaxers – the list goes on. My biggest issue with medication is that it never gives me something without taking something […]
Does Having Agoraphobia Mean You Miss out on Life?
When you move somewhere for a set amount of time it’s typical to have a strong desire to explore the area constantly. We’ve only got 13 months in Germany so of course we want to make the most of it. At the same time, I have some intense anxiety issues that hold me back from making this experience all that it can be. In the first few weeks that we lived here I kept thinking that this opportunity should have […]
My Depression Won’t Take a Vacation.
We recently went on a week-long vacation to the Austrian Alps to celebrate our anniversary and Christmas. We were surrounded by the beauty of the mountains and the serene peacefulness of seclusion. Mr. Meena was on an extended break from his job, which gave him more time to help out with the mundane, everyday chores of life that tend to bring me down. I was expecting a blissful week full of making s’mores, drinking our favorite beverage (white Russians), and […]
Depression: Deep Roots and Sleeper Cells.
I’ve had a hard time writing (and functioning) of late. My depression over the past month has been the worst to date. Usually I have a bad day, a couple of bad days, or a bad weekend. I’ve never had consecutive bad days that turn into weeks like this before. In the past, Mr. Meena being home and with me was usually enough to get me up and functioning, but not this time. I don’t know why today is better […]
Anxiety at the Grocery Store.
Recently Germans celebrated the 25th German Unity Day, which is a day chosen to commemorate the Berlin wall coming down and the reunification of Germany. There are a lot of holidays in this country and we enjoy learning about the history behind each one. This holiday fell on a Saturday, which meant all the stores would be closed that day in addition to normally being closed on Sunday. We realized this shortly before the weekend, so we went out in […]
Misconceptions About Agoraphobia.
Did you know that Paula Deen suffered from panic attacks and agoraphobia for two decades? Since she had such difficulties leaving home, she spent a lot of time cooking southern food for her family. The kitchen was a safe place for her and focusing on meals helped her to alleviate feelings of panic. Paula grew up in a time when this disorder was not well understood and she suffered for it – she was even called a brat by her […]
13 Ways You Can Battle Agoraphobia.
I’ve always been a bit reluctant about having to run errands, but this year I reached a place where my inability to leave home was creating serious problems in my life. I was a bit stunned to find myself talking to my therapist, the one I had sought out for grief counseling, about this new phrase I had learned: agoraphobia. I shared about it on the blog for the first time recently. My husband and I tried (with little success) […]