What You Don’t See in My Travel Photos.

August 18, 2016June 2, 2017 AvaChronic Illness, Travel

I became more than a little bit obsessed with traveling shortly after we moved to Germany. Unfortunately, the arrival of my sudden wanderlust coincided with a diagnosis of fibromyalgia. I had already been dealing with various health issues due to early onset osteoarthritis, but figuring out how to deal with a lot of pain while living in a foreign country was a much bigger challenge. I was discouraged by the pain ravaging my body but determined to travel despite it.

Although I write about travel and chronic pain, I’ve so far segregated my writing on the two topics for few reasons. I don’t want to focus on my issues with pain during a trip when I’m trying to to write a guide, and I also don’t want a post that is focused on the beauty of a place to be littered with complaints about how much pain I was in. While chronic pain and traveling are often two very different subjects, I hope to integrate them more in my writing.

I don’t want the negative aspects of chronic pain in my posts to severely dampen the joy I have when I can get out and see some of the world, but I also think it’s important to be honest and forthcoming about the realities of traveling when it’s hard. I think the world needs more people that share the non-sugarcoated parts of their life instead of just Instagram worthy moments. People need to hear that your life, your body, and even your travels aren’t always picture perfect. They need to hear about struggles that resonate with their lives instead of repeatedly reading top ten lists that make them feel like they haven’t accomplished enough.

People need to hear that your life, your body, and even your travels aren’t always picture perfect. Share on X

I’m determined to share the best and the worst of my travels – and everything in between. So today I’m taking a break from talking about lovely travel experiences and instead looking at the some of my worst moments.

What You Don’t See in My Travel Photos:

How I was nearly stranded while hiking in the Austrian Alps.

I foolishly went off on a hike by myself after a fight with Mr. Meena on Christmas. I burned off my anger by walking five miles uphill to see a waterfall, and found my knee pain increasing at an alarming rate as I started walking back. Not only was I alone in a semi-abandoned area, but it was icy, the sun was setting, and I didn’t have cell phone service. I barely managed to limp back to our rental house in pain and spent a bitter evening recovering.

When I collapsed in Karlsruhe.

We spent a long day traveling to and visiting Mannheim before we arrived at our hotel for the night in Karlsruhe. I actually felt okay so I sat down to rest and ended up taking a little nap. Over the next hour my knees became stiff and painful but I didn’t fully realize it. When I tried to stand up to go to the bathroom I fell on my face and had to crawl across the room.

When I got sick in Amsterdam.

Half of the reason for our trip to Amsterdam was to (legally) find out if cannabis would help me. I was in terrible, constant pain at that point and rather desperate – thanks in part to the German healthcare system that forced me to wait six months before getting help. So I went to Amsterdam, tried an edible, got sick (and really paranoid), and was still in pain.

How I missed out in Spain.

Our hotel was only a few blocks from the beach, but I never got to walk on it. We spent nearly four days in Tarragona, Spain, but I overdid it our first day and I wasn’t able to join Mr. Meena for his stroll on the beach at sunset. Instead I stayed in our hotel room and cried.

The time I couldn’t walk in Berlin.

This was the first time that I truly pushed myself past my limits. We only had a weekend in Berlin and I wanted to see as much as possible. But after walking 13 miles I was in so much pain that I could not walk. Mr. Meena had to half-carry me back to the hotel (if I had been thinking clearly we would have called a cab) and I wasn’t able to sleep or do much the next day because of the pain.

How I was extremely dizzy in Vienna.

Earlier that week I started new medication for my chronic pain and I was dealing with nausea, tremors, and excessive dizziness as a result. I was so unbalanced that Mr. Meena had to steady me just so I could walk down the street. This was particularly difficult since part of our trip was dedicated to visiting an amusement park – not a venue you’ll enjoy if you’re too dizzy.

When I injured my back in Marktbreit.

I have an old compression fracture in my back that may or may not be the cause of my chronic back pain. During our recent day trip to various Bavarian towns, including Marktbreit, I over corrected my posture (without realizing I was doing so) in my attempts to keep the pain at bay. By the end of the day my muscles felt severely bruised, which is a common side effect of fibromyalgia, and I was unable to use them without a lot of pain. I spent the next day in bed and it took nearly a week to recover.

When I had debilitating shoulder pain on my way to Frankfurt.

I have pain in my neck and shoulders almost all the time. Eight out of 18 designated possible tender points of fibromyalgia are located in that area. This pain is often a limiting factor in our travels and it was especially bad when we visited Frankfurt because I had recently switched to a less effective pain medication (which I am no longer using). I wasn’t even able to turn my head to look at the window because of it. I tried every position I could think of in my attempts to lessen the pain and was miserable for hours.

There’s always another story or example that I could share about what you aren’t seeing in my photos. Such as how you don’t see me constantly refilling my travel medication case and setting alarms so I don’t miss doses. Or how you may not see that I can’t wear my cute dresses anymore while traveling because they clash with my arthritis friendly sneakers. I miss the days when I wore flats nearly everywhere.

I realize that my chronic pain may be hugely different from someone else’s. Maybe travel would be much harder for you than it currently is for me. Perhaps your health issues have left you disabled (in which case, I’d like to point you towards this man who blogs about traveling in a wheelchair). Even if your challenges don’t look like mine I want to encourage you to keep trying and know that it is possible to travel despite having health problems. I hope I can inspire you to do just a little bit more, go a little bit farther, and be a little bit happier as a result.

For me, traveling is worth the pain 90% of the time. I’m usually going to be in pain even if I do nothing, so I’d rather trade a little bit more pain for an incredible experience. Of course, sometimes I plan for a small amount of pain and end up with way more than I bargained for. The worst part about being in pain while you’re traveling is the lack of control. Sometimes I need to lie down immediately but I can’t because I’m two hours away from home. I might have to force myself to function when I have nothing left to give. Still, I continue to sacrifice my comfort in order to travel as well as find ways to make it easier. For the past few months I’ve been trying out different combinations of medications (with my doctor, of course) that have done everything from making travel impossible to making it nearly effortless. There’s no easy solution when you live with chronic pain and wanderlust.

Have you traveled when dealing with health problems?